Millwall Venus XV

1st October 2006

Millwall Venus 10 North East Essex Boadiceas 38

Match report by Jodie Botha

Millwall Trys: Toni “The Terror” Cummins, Victoria “Leg It” Lawrence

I can't say that at 10.30 in the morning, listening to the thunder, lightning and rain I was looking forward to dragging my sorry carcass out to play last Sunday. But the meet being at 11 there wasn't really much of a choice in the matter, especially not when being an inmate of Venus Cottage or Venus Central. Not fancying being dragged out of my little cosy cabin by a bunch of butch girls I persuaded myself I could have a nice wee nap on the way to Colchester.

The weather improved as we got to the Boadecias ground and it was even a little bit on the warm side for us fatty forwards so I was cheered by a less than arduous warm up. We could see by the fact their team looked like they should be out drinking Mad Dog 20-20 (orange flavour preferably) in the local cemetery that they'd got their older sister's to buy for them, that we were going to have a hard time keeping up with the young whipper snappers but we felt confident we could teach the young 'uns a thing or two.

Despite the disappointing score line we certainly taught them one or two things but not until we had an early try scored against us, the heartening subsequent failure to convert practically in front of the posts being part of the impetus to carry on. We identified the main target to be “that ginger one” and I'm pleased to say that Antonia managed to ruffle her feathers by a nice little bump. It was even more exciting to watch tough tackling duo and scrum half rivals Jo and Dipper hit “that ginger one” at exactly the same time. That springy little red head didn't get up that quickly after that is all that needs to be said.

Again the pack was the dominating force in the Millwall side. This was unfortunate as their backs were the main factor in their win. All the same Toni's try was a nicely worked bit of supporting play that showed our superior handling and power to it's advantage. Toni looks set to continue her reign as top Venus try scorer with the kind of dynamic use of space that made it impossible for the lightweights to bring her down.

It became clear to me that after making one of the opposition squeal like a pig in kosher butchers that the Boadiceas girls didn't like contact and this is something we should have utilised to better effect. For me it was a dream and as I remarked to the Ref at half time I hadn't even needed to exploit the rules at the breakdowns, solid technique was enough to dominate them at these points.

Sadly Trudie Clark had to come off due to injury before half time as did Toni Cummins (although The Terror did return once the stars circling in front of her eyes from the knock to the nose she'd taken had dimmed somewhat). This gave us a great opportunity to use our subs. I can't say I'm happy that I have competition for my number 2 jersey in the shape of the more adequately sized Sarah but she came on to have a nice solid game as did the very new Phoebe. We quite unfairly gave Phoebe pussy on the pitch for a spectacular run backwards and pass forwards. When she questioned being penalised by the ref “But I passed backwards” she said with all the wide eyed innocence of bambi's mother, right before being shot between the eyes. Sally had to break the news to her gently - “You were facing the wrong f'ing way.” Despite this fun interlude Phoebe, for a girl who had trained once played remarkably well, tackling and making some great strides across the pitch. A very promising prospect once she has a bit of confidence and training under her belt.

The second half quickly descended into misery with a rainstorm - I got distracted in the line-out by the fist-sized rain that I thought might be hailstones and missed the opportunity to hit the scrum half. As we are on the subject of line-outs I think Dipper's sterling work as the world's smallest jumper at 2 needs to be commended. Boadiceas won only 3 of their own lineouts thanks to Dipper's skills. She may not have had the tree felling tackling game of norm but her work in the lineout was impeccable. New Fly half Maryke Botha had to leave the game early due to injury which was a great shame after the number of nice little hits she'd put in.

There was more misery when Sharkey went off with a very painful injury. This made worse by the fact we had responded to her pleas for some ball and she had made excellent use of the opportunity with some incisive running. It's to be hoped that she will be able to return to the side this season as she was looking to be a devastating player as well as a keen one.

Reluctant player Sally Probett didn't do herself any favours in her case that she isn't really a rugby player, in a game that saw her being awarded back of the match. Her season of anxiously watching Trudie play has given her a good knowledge of the game, which she is not afraid to apply vocally and physically. Victoria needs to thank Sally's relentless run up the pitch and nonchalant brush aside of the Boadicea's foolhardy winger which led to Victoria receiving the ball from Sally and crashing over the line. While it was also a good effort from Victoria, it might have been better if Toni hadn't had to tackle her to make her ground the try.

Gorgeous George had a notably solid game, playing like a true prop and running straight at players. A fine thing to see in a newbie. Once she learns to present the ball to her own team we'll be laughing.

Finally not to get too carried away but for the first time in living history I was awarded forward of the match by my own team and I was chuffed to pieces. I can only assume it was for my mysteriously good handling that Daniel Carter would be proud of, and merciless lifting of the Boadiceas' players off the ball at breakdowns.

Clearly drinking all day, supping vodka from an ice sculpture and dipping into a chocolate fountain at the five bells and subsequently failing to return to the cottage till 8 the next morning after a spot of extra curricular training was perfect preparation for a league game. That's what I call a right royal result, see you next Saturday in the five bells and I'll be having shots with bottle chasers please.

Click here to read the match reports from last season