Millwall Venus XV

4th March 2007

Millwall Venus 0 Hertford 49

Match report by Jodie Botha

Some Like It Hot

Hertford 49 – Millwall Venus 0

Carmel “the squealer” Sheil , Claire “ID please” Rimmer , Sarah “Daffodil” Hills , Vicky “the hand” Lawrence , Christie Stanfield , Kirsty McIntyre , Lindsey “tiger balm” Henshall , Sanel “don't shout it's not nice” Pretorius , Jodie “not enough action” Botha , Maryke “no relation to Jodie” Botha , Andrea “the bride” Lendak , Antonia “AC/DC” Branston , Claire “Anyone want a beer?” Higgins , Sally “wants mash” Probett , Trudie “I'll bid £5” Clark , Michelle Godfrey, Beth Walling

The inclement weather exposed the shortcomings of the Venus away kit.

It's been a frustrating month or so for the Venus squad given the amount of games cancelled despite having attracted a plethora of players. Still we finally managed to get a fixture and fulfil it. Hardly surprising that the top of the table were enthusiastic to play the (courtesy of the RFU's appalling arithmetic) bottom of the table side but still a game is a game and as Eoin wisely put it, we just want to play rugby.

It did not bode well that the further out of London we got the more it rained and the harder the wind blew. From memory Hertford was the scene of my last outing as a prop before losing the extra saddlebags I had been carrying and it was a triumph of skill over substance (I wasn't that fat but my opposite number was) but meant I wasn't able to walk for the rest of the week. The weather had been similarly dreadful, the artificial warmth of central London not quite making it to the outer reaches of Hertfordshire.

Fortunately we opted for uncontested scrums which given the heavy pitch and the efficiency of the opposition probably helped us quite a lot, particularly as I was having a little run out at 9 (I'm firmly convinced that I'm a natural hooker, the punishment I received from their scrumhalf at the back of the scrum confirming it)

Anyway as the score shows, it wasn't that bad a game as far as a Venus match goes and the Hertford side although admittedly well drilled owed a great deal of their points to their demon winger, the flow of points slowing once we concentrated on shutting her out of the game. They also used their one or two hefty players to great effect by getting them to run straight inside channels, impact and yards naturally following, a lesson that needs to be learnt by the relatively inexperienced Millwall pack. Venus's biggest problem on the pitch was the inability to win ball at the breakdown, which left me very frustrated at the back of breakdowns waiting for ball that never came (a bit like my Saturdays in the Ledger really). It's a shame, given the backs we had, that we were unable to give them more ball, especially on such a beastly day, if only to keep them warm with a little run around. The forwards were also to blame defensively with a general disorganisation of play. When I got relegated to fly-half for a brief spell I could see just what the backs are facing. It is nigh on impossible to organise an effective back line defence when the forwards not involved in the contact are wandering around aimlessly but then I guess that's why we are called donkeys. I suspect some stronger leadership in the pack is going to have to emerge before next season starts if we are to improve on this season's performances.

Having said that it wasn't all bad news as there was some great tackling going on. One of my favourites being from the ‘Wuss' Henshall who felled their winger with an almighty thump stopping her from scoring given the line, space and pace she was going at. Andrea played a typically energetic game, having a go at anyone with the ball and keeping everyone's spirits up with the only positive that came to hand: “come on Venus we're playing down hill”. Vicky earned man of the match with a good performance, the girl has come on in leaps and bounds, and for enthusiasm alone has been one of the finds of the season.

A special word to the new girls who played, they were all great, and especially given two went straight in the pack and did marvellously well. And it certainly can't have been an easy game for the wingers. Special mention goes to Michelle for displaying a great pint downing technique in the bar.

Two weather beaten teams rushed off to the changing rooms after the match to be greeted by the world's hottest showers (hotter than a Chico Phaal). Seriously, so hot that no-one (except Truculent Trudie and not quite right in the head Vicky who waited the showers out for quite some time) could wash properly. As a result I for one shall be finding sand in my extremities for quite some time to come.

Click here to read the match reports from last season