Millwall Venus XV

10th March 2007

Match report by Jodie Botha

Venus “6's”

g ‘A' y (0) Hetro Pride (32)

Tries: Jodie Botha, Andrea Lendak (2), Antonia Branston (3)

Conversions: Antonia Branston (1)

g ‘A' y Team

Claire Rimmer, Samantha Des Forges, Toni Cummins, Sally Probett, Tricia Curmi, Cara Magoolagan,

The Hetro Pride

Rachel Dipper, Jo Richardson, Antonia Branston, Andrea Lendak, Jodie Botha, Lindsey Henshall

Despite a good season on the recruitment front sadly Venus still couldn't field enough players to mimic the men's international tournament. An idea of true genius was however put forward last Sunday and as no one objected to being placed in teams due to off the pitch preference, the gay v straight match was arranged.

Some of the spectators had difficulty grasping the concept. It was a question of baffling arithmetic for Mr Joe “It's as well I can score tries” Pullen. If we can field enough not straight players to field a ‘7's squad, how many non-straight players does that make on the Venus squad? Do the maths. Still, as my esteemed team mate Andrea said, everyone's quite rightly proud of who they are so why should we care. It was a novel idea executed in good humour.

It didn't feel so hilarious when warming up in the straight camp and looking at the opposition front practicing. “Oh look they've gone for a power front row.” Rachel commented with beguiling lightness. Henshall beat a hasty retreat to the back line deciding today wasn't the day to make a debut in the front row and Dipper was left to explain to Jo why we couldn't lie and request uncontested scrums on the basis of inexperience, against people we have all front rowed alongside. Having walked past the opposition and overhearing their main strategy to dominate in the scrums we were left to cling to “we'll never live it down if the gays beat us”.

Fortunately this was not the case as I demonstrated with my first try since 1998. It was a master-class of old girl play as Antonia ran in field only to get held up, with Probett moving in no doubt to put Antonia down properly I realize it was up to me to do something. I half-heartedly called for the ball, cursing myself for being able to catch and picked up my heels and ran for the posts. There could have been no excuse for me not to ground that ball behind the line and I managed it, despite Dipper telling herself I was sure to drop it as I had on many other point scoring opportunities. It may have been more glorious if I'd actually managed to convert the kick but my foot missed the ball stunningly, something, which I can assure you, I was reminded of frequently afterwards.

No matter a second try followed, this time set up by myself (it is true I was AWESOME) and finished by the very worthy Andrea. After this I can't remember much about the order of the tries as Andrea and Antonia began hogging the ball a bit in the quest for glory. Suffice to say Antonia earned a deserved hat trick (I also helped her by setting up one of them, a quid pro quo my friend) and special mention for actually managing to convert a try too (Even if Eoin managed to miss it due to his managing duties).

The opposition managed to come back a little bit in the second half with Sally looking dangerous. It's a shame she didn't get more ball earlier on as she showed her value as a runner that just won't go down. Dipper is still living down the moment she failed to put Sally on her backside and was urged by the supporters “to make her tackles”, certainly something she hasn't heard since she was an inexperienced Essex girl in her first pair of white stilettos. Fortunately we managed to recuperate a bit with a few scrums and put another couple of tries although we certainly felt we were being tricked by the ref's dodgy watch (we aren't famed for our ability to play full matches, and will encourage earlier final whistles).

Toni made some good little runs, which also could have been used to better effect, as could Sam's all round ability. Had the power running of Toni and Sam been utilized in field there could have been enough space created for Sally or newcomer speedster Tricia to finish out-wide. However, the main downfall for the opposition was the poor handling. When they did have possession they tended to panic and chuck it away. This was in contrast to the straight team that managed to keep it simple and make safe passes. It was clear that the opposition had tired in the second half when they began kicking; something which self nominated straights captain Jo was no doubt gleeful about (“the thing is right, they are going to kick and that's good for us”).

Despite the unassailable size of the opposition front row a bit of technique saved the day for the weedy straights and so we managed to win ball in the scrums. Henshall proved her worth in the lineouts winning ball and contesting like a pro. She did however discover she had strained some part of her anatomy in the lineout, and that exercise isn't always good for you.

The two new girls played well and gave Dipper cause to regret having taught them how to tackle half an hour before the match.

All said a good day out, both in our game and the men's competition. If only some bounder nicked my oyster card and purse (with I pod in it) in the Ledger it would have been the perfect day. But it is still 2007 after all.

Click here to read the match reports from last season