|
||||||||
 |
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
Millwall Venus XV
Match Report Opposition:
Romford Ravens Click here to return to the Match Report Index page. Report written by: JBo
As quoted from planet rugby in response to a distressed and confused fan:
“ It is not at present illegal to hand off by using the hand to the face - but it must be a hand-off and not a punch .”
Hope that clears a few things up for the budding pugilists in the opposition who seem to think “a clean game” is characterised by punching anyone who gets in your way.
An almost victorious Venus inspires me to quote that old war horse Winston Churchill:
“ Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few (1) . ”
Except this, for once is not quite true. Everyone played well, backs and forwards alike.
There was a curious sense of optimism in the barracks prior to the game, team manager Rachel making what I believed to me a rash bet of not losing by more than 15 points to someone who is certainly older and wiser.
Again there was a collective rippling wind of disappointment from the “Fatty Venus, sponsored by Asda value sausages” pack at the news of, yes, you've guessed it, another uncontested scrum.
Romford Ravens must still be in shock after what was a solid start, solid middle and solid end from us. They failed to score their customary first ten minutes hat-trick. Their first try when it did happen was a respectable way into the game and had to be earned by their whole team, not just their nippy backs. Undeterred for once, we answered with a convincing attack and ended up camped on their try line for at least ten minutes and were unlucky at several places to have not scored. The Romford resilience has to be commended here for their continued efforts at getting under the ball and holding players up off the line. The ref should also be commended for his erratic decisions which at times punished us by denying the opportunity to score by awarding penalties rather than continuing play, simultaneously punishing Romford for repeated infringements.
A try did come a little bit later on with a majestic run from Miriam at inside centre. Again her talented STRAIGHT RUNNING FORWARD has to be made an example of. When she did get eventually brought down near to the line, there were enough people in support to clean it up and this led to a classic opportunistic try from number 8 Toni Cummings (You may have heard of her, she was in Rugby World you know). After a long and tough first half the second half started with the command not to kick. This particular order didn't quite filter out but fortunately winger Samantha Des Forges has a fairly hefty boot and she managed to control her kicks authoritatively into the mischievous wind. Similarly after fairly poor and at times unlucky throw in efforts from myself in the first half, despite the pesky wind, I discovered a random hidden talent of hoying it out to five in the second half. Who would have thought it? Excellent news nonetheless!
Exciting new signing for “Fatty Venus” Vanessa Feltz, getting some training in as (incase of red carding) replacement for Emma-Louise.
Romford Ravens decided, in the second half, seeing as for once “Fatty Venus” were not allowing them to skip around that they'd employ a tactic of telling the ref his job and suggesting infringements. This coupled with probably more substitutions and “injuries” than in a whole world cup tournament should have frustrated us beyond belief. Fortunately, “Gritty Millwall” showed as much collective interest in this game plan as a “ blind lesbian in a hot dog factory (2) ” and merely grinned complacently at each stoppage of the game.
Again North's cannonball like runs were deadly and she was unlucky not to score (again) and Erica's energetic all round play were a key part of the game. Erica has unfortunately had to leave the side (work commitments) after being one of the most committed players and we are definitely going to feel the loss for some time to come. Claire Higgins made a brave switch from full back to fly half and made some great incisive runs as well as managing to be every where at once. Little Jo had a great romp of a game, bouncing from tackle to tackle with jolly school girl enthusiasm. We are still, however, puzzled as to how she can be warned for high tackling when she generally can't see over the tops of the opposition knees. Reluctant winger Emma-Louise also turned in a good performance and managed to get her hands some good ball on the blind side, mostly in the second half. Unfortunately, she would much rather have got her hands on the “clean playing” opposition.
The whistle blew at a very convenient point to stop World War III breaking out between my feisty friend and just about all of the Ravens. Team manager Rachel heaved a sigh of relief. Exactly 15 point deficit meant that her own muddy shorts would not be on the menu for dinner after all.
I think another of Winston's words of wisdom accurately encapsulates the day (particularly for the Nelson crew):
“ I fight for my corner.” And to the second “Mr Editor, I leave when the pub closes (3) .”
• 1 and 3 taken from www.winstonchurchill.org • 2 shamelessly plagiarised from an e-mail from me bruv
Click here to return to the Match Report Index page. Visit our Gallery of team and individual photos - click here.
|
